I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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