My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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