I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
