He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
