if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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