can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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