he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She told me I should be a condom model.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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