I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
