i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
