One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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