Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
