I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
