i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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