i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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