it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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