I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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