CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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