She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
