I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
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