I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
