Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
