The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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