how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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