four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
