I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
