i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
