shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Jerry, you need to find god
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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