Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The Olympian is in my bed
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