If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
