He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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