That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
