Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
