I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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