went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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