Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
