Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just gift wrapped bread.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
