Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
