Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
