I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
