god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
