so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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