been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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