i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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