What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
