Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
