Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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