Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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