I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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