her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
