he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize