she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
