just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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