The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize