Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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