If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
we're so committed to being not committed
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
