Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
