haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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