oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
