Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
