my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
