were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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